Starting 2014 Strong with Goal Setting

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Every New Year’s Day, we all whip out our best aspirations and create our Resolutions. Unfortunately, for most adults its the only time we really DREAM. The real tragedy is that most resolutions fall to the wayside within the first two weeks of the year, never to be thought about again. We want to lose weight, so we buy a gym membership and then make every excuse in the book to not go consistently, even though we purchased a full year’s membership. Or the best, we vow that we will save more money but continue to live paycheck to paycheck, blow our tax returns on crap or continue to spend spend spend, like there’s no tomorrow.  Well whatever your resolutions are, the number one thing we need to do is create a PLAN OF ACTION. You can write goals, create a vision broad and think of all the affirmations in the world to push and motivate you but if there is no PLAN OF ACTION in place, nothing substantial will ever happen.

So, what does a Plan of Action Consist of?

Think of a Plan of Action like a Game Plan for your Life. It is your To-Do List. When you make a goal or a vision for your life, the number one thing to focus on is action because without it, your dreams get demoted to simple wishes. In this 4-part series, we will go over simple ideas which are KEY to your success in finally achieving your New Year’s Resolutions.

So the first thing to do is to Ask yourself: What do I want? What do I value? How do I want to finish off next year? The reason I say finish is because you want to keep the end in mind always. If you cannot see the finished product, then you cannot move because direction is not there. Find your finished product and you can take the steps to get there.

The next thing you need to do is set goals. Great Goals are S.M.A.R.T. Goals. SMART is simple technique to make sure that your goals are effectively designed to engage you and increase the strength of the goal.  Throughout this series, we are going to work with one of my top goals for 2014- Weight Loss. My goal next year is to lose 75 pounds by my next birthday (June 6) so I can take a beach vacation and wear a two-piece bathing suit and to improve my health. I Plan to lose these 75 pounds by using Herbalife, Running &  Zumba primarily.  Now, if I had just written a goal saying I want to lose weight, its not powerful at all. Immediately you can tell the difference in the way a goal is written and the potential it has for someone to stick to it, So lets break this goal down.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals

S- Specific. Your goals must state exactly who, what & where you want to be.   For my weight loss goal, I know the exact number of pounds I want to drop, I know why I want to do it and I know how I will do it (Herbalife, Zumba and general exercise). If you want to save money, there has to be a number in mind. I attended a business seminar in Tampa, FL recently and one of the speakers told everyone to think of a money goal for themselves. Then he added that we should all multiply it by 100 because most people dont think big enough. Now I don’t think you should set a goal of $8.5 Billion (my number) but we all should start somewhere. Whether its your goal weight, your goal savings amount, the specifics of a potential mate, or the exact beach in Hawaii you want to visit, make sure the focus of your goal is specific and tangible.

M- Measurable. Each goal must have a gauge that you can track your progress or value along the way. With my weight loss goal, I have an Herbalife Coach who will track my weight, my BMI Visceral Fat, Body Fat Percentage and my eating habits to make sure I stay on track.Now, you dont ha.ve to have a coach or some overtly constructed measuring stick. The internet has a wealth of charts and tools to help you track your progress. toward achieving your goal.  I am notorious for using Microsoft Word or Excel to create tables and charts to track my progress on goals. I’ve created my own personal bill invoices, weekly trackers for moving, I even created a billing statement for money I had borrowed from someone and detailing it as I paid them back. I get serious with it. As long as you have in mind your specific goal, when you want to achieve it and have broken it down, you can create a Measuring tool for it or find one.

A- Achievable. Each goal must be  something you really feel you can do. It has to be challenging but not a “mission impossible” goal. For example, with my weight loss goal: truthfully, I need to drop a total of 130 pounds according to my personal trainer and doctor. BUT, I know that 6 months is a bit too short of a period of time for me to want to lose 130 pounds. I know it can be done and SOMEONE probably has done it, But that kind of pressure for me, personally, would be overwhelming to the point where I’d want to give up. So I asked myself, “what about 15 pounds a month?” I can do it, because I’ve done it before without even trying. SO that experience will boost my confidence to do it again. The confidence is what make the goal Achievable. So, whether it is something someone you know or have read about as done it or something similar, creating a goal and sticking to it until fruition has a lot to do with your personal confidence in achieving it. If you aren’t confident in the goal, try breaking it down or extending the deadline to make it more feasible if needed. Or, check out the next step to see if it really makes sense for you as a goal.

R-Relevant. Your goals should tie into your core beliefs, where you are in life and where you want to go. This part of your goal is called your “Why”, or your ultimate motivating purpose/reason. It should be made clear. Also, make sure it is relevant to you. Make sure your goal is not something you only kind of want to do, but maybe someone else (spouse, parents, friend, etc) want for you. If you set a goal that doesn’t really speak you your heart, you’ll probably fail at it because its not in line with your vision for yourself. For example, I want to lose weight because I want to be healthy, feel light and free and be more adventurous. I can FEEL the weight on me now. I get winded doing simple things, I SNORE now, and I can’t STAND anyone snoring. So for me, the losing weight is relevant because it’s my health at stake here. My boyfriend on the other hand like me at my current weight. He likes BBWs(big beautiful women) and that I am right now. But its a body. It’s not WHO. And, now since he’s seen pictures of me when I was slimmer , hes on board and working to lose weight himself. The slimmer Monica is who I know I am. I’d feel more myself smaller. And its not about being stick thin. That I could never be. I love curves and I honestly think after I get to about a 12/14 (I’m currently a 22/24) I’m set.

T- Time-bound. Any goal you create MUST have a deadline. If there is no sense of urgency, nothing with happen. Now, some people will want to  set a frame of time like “in six months,”or use a specific date like, “June 6, 2014.” . I honestly would prefer you use a specific date versus a time frame because time frames aren’t as specific. If you say six months your subconscious mind will keep resetting it as, “six months from today.” Which is why people procrastinate.  Have you ever had a homework project or a thesis paper due or an exam and kept thinking I have two weeks to write this paper, or finish this project or study this material, and next thing you know its due tomorrow. So now you’re rushing or even cramming for an assignment. IF you change it a bit and say, for example. Today is January 21st, and my goal is to lost 75 pounds by June 6th. Now your brain calculates, “okay, I’ve got a little over 4 months to get this done.” With a specific time frame your sense of urgency kicks in and you will consciously and subconsciously ensure your own success.

For my current goal, I set a 7 month goal to drop 75 pounds. It’s a tight enough schedule for me to stick with it and real enough that I won’t get overwhelmed with it. So, your homework will be to Create your Top 10 goals and par them down to about 3 or 4 that you really want to focus on.

 

Thank you,

Monica Nouvelle.

Live.Love. Limitless.

Roommates and Money

Happy New Year to You All!  Today’s post is some advice. I pray I will NEVER have to use this advice in the future but it was definitely learned the hard way for me and as a result, I feel this will hopefully help many of you out there. IF you are moving into a new place or even your first apartment, sometimes having a roommate can have its advantages. You have an automatic buddy to socialize with, to work with or simply to save money with.

And while saving money is perhaps on of the greatest benefits, it can also be the main topic of controversy. Money is said to be the number one reason for divorce and it also seems to be the number one reason for even family and friend problems as well. So, to help alleviate some of those issues, I have some compiled some rules to make your financial dealing much easier.

Rule #1- Keep a copy of all billing statements.  Rent may not come with a statement every month, so it can be practical to draft up an agreement signed by all roommate parties agreeing on how much will be paid each month and even what date it is expected to be paid.  As for your other bills,  make photocopies of all billing statements unless the bills are in your name, in which case you should keep all original copies along with receipts of payment. I even print online payment confirmations for my own records to keep available to easy retrieval.-

Rule #2- Keep a paper trail.  This ties into rule number one. If you are the primary bill payer, keeping receipts of payments is key. But, also, if a roommate pays a bill, ask to make a copy of their receipt or get a copy of the confirmation email for the bill. The second part of this rule is to never give cash for any bills. I would even go as far as writing checks or giving money orders for any money borrowed over a certain threshold (for me its $25.00) But for household bills, cash is never to be given. That is ASKING for trouble. Someone could mingle it with their own cash, forget that you gave it to them and that leaves it as their word against yours.

  ULTIMATE TIP:Set up a one time online bill payment for the particular bill. Have a check sent to your roommate or the billing company. If checks are not accepted- purchase a money order instead and keep receipts and even make a photocopy for insurance.

Rule #3- Pay early. As a rule of thumb, to ensure on time payments, I always say 3-5 days before the first of the month is best to make sure all money is collected and paid to the landlord or leasing company. Due to pay schedules, some may argue that its not possible for them to pay early, but I think before you move in or join someone as a roommate, you should talk about paying bills and what you expect and everything which brings me to my next rule…

Rule #4- Pay exact amounts.  While you are keeping track of bills unless it is something that is a set rate every month, do not pay estimates. I had a roommate and estimated that all bills came up to $150.00 each month, only to find out that everything came up to much less, about $35.00 less. So even if someone thinks you are petty for it, I’d only round up to the nearest cent. (ex. $151.95, split between  2 people is $79.975, just round up to $75.98. Be teh bigger person and pay the last 1/2 cent already!

Rule #5- Communicate. Not following this rule has been the downfall for me and many a relationship with friends, family, whatever, in the past I had not been bold enough to speak my mind, to speak out about what I felt was unfair, or was a misunderstanding or even not having money for a bill because something else came up.  Fortunately for you this can be avoided. I always recommend having at least a monthly, if not weekly “money talk .” And if you feel you cannot talk to the person you are living with, then that is a RED FLAG and all the more reason for you to sit down and talk or better yet,  find a new place to live ASAP.

When you sit down for these “money talks,” first, outline the good. Recognize the fact that you have been on track paying all bills or that its great the rent is being paid on time. Do not highlight only the bad or what is wrong or what is causing a rift between roommates. This is how it can all turn south and fast. Go over previous agreements and adjust if needed. If you all mutually decide you want a bigger cable package or that you need to scale down, discuss how that will affect payments. Make sure any changes, whether a decrease or increase of bills, are discussed well in advance. I recommend a month or at least 2 weeks.

   ULTIMATE TIP: Be honest. Speak whatever is on your mind, even if its not money related, if it could get out of hand to the point that you are searching for a new roommate, bring it up in discussion. And never let a discussion turn into a yelling match. After the yelling has started, you’ve already lost the other person. Its best to let things cool down and come back later and discuss things when you both are calm and can remain calm.

  ULTIMATE TIP: NEVER argue events. Sometimes, while discussing money, in my experience, roommates can get into an necessary you said/I said match. Why bother? At the end of the day, if the root of the problem is money  why argue about what was said 2 weeks ago or even 2 months ago. Discuss how much is owed an come to a middle ground.  If Rules 1 & 2 had been followed, you should not be in this type of a mess. But if you do find yourself in this situation, like I did, simply be the bigger person, chalk it up to memory loss, pay what the roommate is arguing, just implement the paper trail in the future to avoid any further issues. 

Rule #6- Strictly business. You and your roommate can be childhood friends, a relative or even a boyfriend/girlfriend, but when it comes to bill, keep it all business. SO many times I have heard the old line, “you know I’m good for it.” Or the famous,  ” but we’re family/ friends/ lovers/ fill-in-the-blank.” No matter the relationship, history, living situation, keep it all business when it comes to bills. And my rule is, if the other person cannot respect it, do not move in with them, and if you already have, please plan your exit strategy.  As I said before, money is the number one source of disagreements, discord and frustration in most human relationships. So, either get it right, treat it right, or reap the consequences.

Remember to Live. Love. Limitless…and Happy Rooming!